Staturday, 27 May 2017

Hello again. I’m actually writing this on Memorial Day even though I weighed in on Saturday because well, I got some energy back and I’ve been CLEANING. I KNOW! Not even my own stuff! Kitchen mess and second-floor mess. Long story. Skip to the end. Let’s pretend this was posted on Saturday. I’ll even date it as being on Saturday. Okie-dokie? All-righty-roony. Here we go.

27 May 2017
259.0 lbs
51.8% fat

27 May 2017
35.5% water

Height: 5 ft 6 in

Weight: 259.0 lbs (down from 261.2 lbs)

Bodyfat: 51.8% (down from 53.1%)

Water: 35.5% (up from 34.6%)

I’m in no way ready to run a marathon, but being able to do things around the house instead of sitting in my living-room chair in a fog is huge. And I knew this would happen, and it’s happened before, if I would just quit being stupid and stay keto.

Because yep, keto all this time. Do not know whether I’ve been in nutritional keto at all because I can’t afford the blood-ketone test strips and I’m not sure I could get a doctor to prescribe them. The sticks are perfectly happy with me though. The one I did Sunday was lighter, but I’ve also been drinking more water.

All in all, not too shabby.

Staturday, 20 May 2017

Hi! I’m back! I’m alive! I’m kinda doing okie-dokie!

20 May 2017
261.2 lbs
53.1 percent fat

20 May 2017
34.6% water

Basically since my last weigh-in-on-the-site I’ve contended with making excuses and going back to junk, at first as an avoidance tactic against having to explain every little thing I’m avoiding to my visiting father, and then finding it difficult to get back to eating sensibly after he left. Some of that is my own crap but it was also just complicated when we kept running out of money.

But! I finally got a hold of myself. And for all the BS, I don’t think I got over 265 the whole time I was off the rails. And now I’m lower than that.


Height: 5 ft 6 in

Weight: 261.2 lbs (down from 267.2 lbs)

Bodyfat: 53.1% (down from 53.2%)

Water: 34.6% (unchanged)

I mean, that’s three pounds a month, not awesome, but better than it had been previous to that, when everything was on a general upward trend. I’ll take it.

I’m HOPING to get photos soon as a Before, since six pounds lost doesn’t look like much on a fat chick. But I need to figure out how to do that. I get mentally blocked about writing blog posts if they’ll need to be photo-heavy, so I’m not making any promises.

I’m weird.

I know I’m weird.

Try living in my own head, that’s even weirder.

Why I am not giving up diet soda

Recently a spate of news articles have been released sounding the alarm about a supposed link between diet soda consumption and the risk of clotting (ischemic) stroke and dementia. Much ado has been made of this. Panic and running nekkid in the streets with asses on fire. It’s been amazing.

I’ve been arguing with diet-soda haters for years now. Previous to this it was that drinking diet soda makes you fat and diabetic. I’ve been DYING for a valid explanation that would satisfy me but so far all anyone can come up with is that merely tasting sweetness makes you diabetic and fat. This coming from the same idiots who extol us to eat healthier but ply us with recipes for treats containing honey, coconut sugar, maple syrup, and sometimes–hold on to yer hats–fructose-heavy, liver-destroying agave nectar. The irony, of course, is completely lost on these twits. I’ve given up on them seeing reason long since.

My argument has always been that people who don’t have weight problems and who apparently don’t have chronic health problems of any sort are not going to see any good reason to drink diet soda nine times out of ten. The remaining ten percent are not going to be a statistically significant enough population to bother studying. So you would expect to see more health problems in diet-soda drinkers as they were already in medical trouble when they made the switch away from sugar. That has certainly been my situation; I was already fat and in the throes of reactive hypoglycemia, or at least something very like the description of that condition, when I gave up sugar soda*.

And funny, but if you look at the actual summary of the study, you find data pointing in that direction. Here’s how they explained part of what they did.

A third statistical model included the adjustments outlined in Model 1, as well as additional cardiometabolic variables that may be influenced by sugary beverage intake1,2,14,15 or associated with an increased risk of stroke or dementia.3,4,16 These variables included systolic blood pressure, treatment of hypertension, prevalent cardiovascular disease, atrial fibrillation, left ventricular hypertrophy, total cholesterol, high-density lipoprotein cholesterol, prevalent diabetes mellitus, positivity for at least 1 apolipoprotein E ε4 allele (for analysis of dementia only) and waist-to-hip ratio (Model 3).


When examining cumulative beverage consumption, daily intake of artificially sweetened soft drink was associated with an increased risk of both all-cause dementia and AD dementia in Models 1 and 2 (Table 3; Table II in the online-only Data Supplement). However, such associations were no longer significant after adjustment for the covariates outlined in Model 3.

I wanted to emphasize that last sentence to make sure you wouldn’t miss it, but I don’t want you skipping any of the rest of either quoted passage. Also read the section called Mediation Analysis (see link below).

The researchers claim they found no association between sugar-soda consumption and either dementia or ischemic stroke. I initially found this difficult to believe, knowing that many researchers now consider Alzheimer’s to be a sort of Type 3 diabetes, and that ischemic stroke happens more often in diabetics just as heart disease does (which frequently involves clots). But other people who’ve read over this study say that the rate of sugar-soda drinking was far, far lower than the rate of diet-soda drinking among study respondents. Given that the respondents were middle-aged, the people really dedicated to soda-drinking would have long since switched to diet and whoever was left was only having sugar sodas once in a while as occasional treats. Also please note this was an observational study utilizing food-frequency questionnaires and so (1) the information is not 100% accurate and, I’d hazard a guess, not even close and (2) this study is not meant to be the final word on anything, merely a starting point for further study.

I’d also like to point out one more observation. In the health-nut community’s jihad against diet soda, they continually fail to remember that not all diet sodas have the same sweeteners, and so you wouldn’t expect them all to have the same health effects, since we’re discussing radically different chemicals here. This points even more strongly in the direction of people-already-have-health-problems-when-switching-to-diet-soda.

And finally, to answer the charge that diet soda isn’t a health food anyway, neither are wheat germ, tofu, and chia seeds… and yet, the three major health-nut populations I know of push one or all of those. Tell you what, clean up your own shitty diet plans before you go criticizing other people’s treats.

You have no idea how much sugar soda I used to drink. The fact that I’m not drinking it anymore and in fact have long since kicked caffeine addiction as well is a major victory. There are so many treats I can’t have now if I want to be healthy that I am not at all ashamed at holding on to one that I can have. I waste my time defending my habit only because I’d hate for this option to go away thanks to unfounded consumer hysteria stoked by anti-science nutjobs who can’t even read a research study.

Yes, I’m talking about you. Don’t bother shooting the messenger. CLEAN UP YOUR MESS.

Starting with reading the actual damn study abstract. If you think you can handle it.

No love,

*Similarly, the hysteria about multivitamins causing health risks. There is some room to argue that the folic acid you find in most multivitamins is a risk to people with MTHFR mutations, but most of the reason you find people on multivitamins getting sicker and dying sooner is that if someone is already healthy, they don’t think they need nutritional supplementation, so you won’t see them taking vitamins. This is so staggeringly obvious that one is tempted to round up all these anti-vitamin hysterics and hook them up to EEGs to make sure their brains are still working.

The past month

Dad visited here for about a week. As I wasn’t prepared for him to be here, I think my decision to not worry about my diet overmuch was understandable, if not sound. And then after he left we sort of skidded financially for a while, and I still didn’t want to worry about it. I can only take so much hassle at any given time.

The problem when finances get weird is that groceries are not a priority bill. They should be, because we have a growing child in the house, but for some reason they really aren’t. And then we wind up getting restaurant food (or pre-prepared grocery food), which costs too much, which means we go broke faster, which means we still don’t go to the grocery store, which makes low-carb eating even weirder. I mean, if I wanted to zero-carb we’ve got meat in the freezer but I don’t want to zero-carb so there it is.

BUT. There should be light at the end of the tunnel now. I need to make sure it’s not an oncoming train, but I just ordered my whey protein again and when that gets here I should be set to last until payday doing this the way I originally wanted to do it.

Let me explain. No, is too long. Let me sum up. No, is too tired. I explain later.

But! Soon I’ll be back on the wagon. Probably too late to get into that DietBet I wanted to join, and I’ll be too broke to throw into the pot anyway, but maybe next month. Sigh.

Clearly I need to batch cook

I’m sitting here typing this and listening to my father snoring away on my couch. He was supposed to visit in June but things shifted and he called me more recently saying he wanted to come visit April 3, give or take. Between that and a fairly broke last week or so before payday I’ve been foundering. At the moment I’m kind of in a holding pattern just trying to get through the day without having to have interesting conversations about food. He said he’d be here a few days and I don’t know what “a few days” means. But after that I should be able to get myself in order.

I need to batch cook or I need to stop having weird things happening when I’m trying to get back on the wagon, one or the other or both. I can’t stand up to major changes in routine very well. 🙁

So far, so good

I started low-carbing on Monday and it took all of 24 hours to get back into ketosis. I’m really not surprised since I kept carbs so low. I think most people having trouble getting in are keeping their intake at 40 grams and up, and then they wonder why it’s so hard. Dr. Atkins said to start out at 20g net for a reason; maybe people could start listening to him and they might get somewhere. (Lately I’ve noticed more and more “experts” coming out with stuff that he was saying 20, 30, and 40 years ago. Really. It is to laugh.)

Be that as it may, I might have switched over in a day but I wasn’t totally, physically okay. I still had a touch of carb flu. One interesting symptom I experience is that if I’m going into ketosis and I don’t eat enough fat, I feel kind of headachy and thirsty. That’s the closest I can describe the sensation. It’s not fun, but eating fat and drinking some water makes it mostly better. Although I had to medicate the headachiness and sometimes even that didn’t totally help.

And then today I felt so much better when I woke up. Maybe my brain’s working on ketones now like it’s supposed to do. That’d be nice.

I need to do more batch cooking and prepping. I’m finding myself casting about for easy eats and that way lies madness. I could really use some fat bombs and also, I’d like to put together some homemade low-carb gummy bears to get more glycine into me and also perhaps utilize for medicinal purposes. For instance, I found a recipe for anti-inflammatory gummy bears a while back. I could totally go for that. I seem to be the inflammation queen for, well, at least a decade and a half now. I’m stunned I haven’t had a heart attack yet.


I SHOULD get in a weigh-in tomorrow morning. No promises because there is a LOT going on this weekend and I don’t know how flustered I will be when I wake up.

So far, some obstacles

I haven’t Officially Started diet-wise yet, though I ate considerably less crap today than I had been accustomed to doing. I guess the crappiest thing I had was what was left of a bag of seaweed crackers I had bought last week. I didn’t want to leave them there tempting me. It’s a cracker that has a layer of seaweed on one side and some kind of crunchy stuff, probably baked rice, on the other. Total carbs for the whole bag was 27g which, really, if you consider I’ve been getting at least ten times that for far too many days in the past five years(!!!), isn’t too bad at all.

Then there was beef brisket, fingerling potatoes, and carrots in the Instant Pot. So add some more carbs on with the crackers because yes, I had some potatoes. No idea how much it wound up being, probably still less than 100g total. Not net, though with the potatoes still being in their jackets and being smaller, I probably got a good amount of fiber in there.

I think starting tomorrow is realistic. I need to spend some time tonight setting things up so I can report intake properly. Having to work too hard to report intake is going to make it really hard to track.

I also need to GET UP EARLIER. My sleep quality has suffered for a long time, which has probably helped screw up my weight. But on top of that, I want to start out having three distinct meals a day. (And I use the word “meal” very loosely for breakfast and lunch, but it’s intake, so close enough.) Gives my insulin time to drop in between meals, should help with fat loss. And if I get up earlier and plan things out I should be able to have breakfasts and lunches at relatively normal times and then dinner won’t be a big deal.

Another obstacle I’m currently dealing with besides not wanting difficulty in reporting my intake and not having good sleep habits is I’m afraid to go into keto.

I don’t think it’s dangerous. If anything I feel wonderful on it. But going into ketosis feels like I’m slamming a door behind me that I had really wanted to leave open.

And that makes no sense. What door, exactly??? The one where I go into full-blown type 2 (if I’m not there already–we can have it for years before it gets really destructive)? Where I crack 300 pounds, which I’m less than 30 away from? Where I can’t wear shoes anymore because I’ve already had my one pair for something like seven years and they look like boats because my feet got fat and stretched them out? Where no one can even recognize me anymore because all my facial features got buried in lard? Where I need a special device to wipe my own ass because I can’t reach it anymore?


So I probably should stop being so damned nonsensical.

Okay, just needed to get this out there and public. You’re welcome. Hopefully better news tomorrow. I have the Ketostix ready to go and everything… let’s stop being ridiculous.

First post. For real this time.

So, a long, long time ago (it seems like), I kept a blog called The Low-Carb Curmudgeon. During the time in which I kept that blog, I lost something like fifty pounds. While I was losing those fifty pounds I gained more than a thousand “likers” on the affiliated Facebook Page and more than 300 followers on the affiliated Twitter account. Not huge numbers, but not exactly small potatoes for someone like me, either.

Then stuff went south in my personal life. At the same time stuff was going south in my personal life, I went off the rails with my weight-loss efforts. That was about 2012 or 2013. Once again I had got myself caught up in a guy who was emotionally unavailable but certainly had no problem initiating Adult Playtime with me. I don’t do emotionally-unavailable Adult Playtime very well. It took me several breakaway attempts before I finally decided I was done with him, and I wasn’t okay about it for at least several months afterward. All the while this was going on, I was steadily regaining.

Let’s see. At that point the heaviest I’d been that I knew of was around 250, at five feet six inches tall. I had then lost a little more than fifty pounds. I remember, because I got below 200 and made a big deal out of getting back to Onederland. I could actually feel my butt melting back into its proper shape–it was awesome. But as soon as I was miserable about some asshat again I stopped caring.

People noticed. I’d made some Facebook “friends” via my low-carb blogging efforts, and those who didn’t fall away because they hated my politics (left-ish) or my complaining about my life (frequent, even when I wasn’t strictly miserable) or my tendency to argue with a fencepost (oh my god) fell away because I wasn’t their big golden-girl success story anymore. They weren’t happy unless I was properly entertaining them. This despite at least a couple of them acting like I was the best thing since sliced… filet mignon… for other reasons besides the weight loss. And it just goes to show that 99 percent of human beings do not know how to be real friends on social media because you are not right there in their face-to-face life and able to slap them* if they go douchebaggy. Whatever. I hope they’re happy wherever they ended up. No, really. I’m good. (Now.) I totally cut ties with the fair-weather idiots. There are a couple of folks from my old blogging days who stuck with me and they’re pretty cool. It’s nice to not have drama.

So, I mentioned some numbers. Okay. From about… we’ll say 198 pounds… I ballooned back up PAST 250 alllll the way to… here. I weighed in this morning, and here’s where I am.

17 Mar 2017 weigh-in 267.2 lbs 53.2 percent fat

17 Mar 2017
267.2 lbs
53.2 percent fat

17 Mar 2017 weigh-in 34.6 percent water

17 Mar 2017
34.6 percent water

In case you can’t see those images, here are the numbers. I use a Tanita scale that measures my weight, my bodyfat percentage, and what percentage of my body is water. I’m sure it’s not tremendously accurate, but I understand the Tanitas will at least properly reflect downward trends if you’re losing weight. Anyway…

Today’s weigh-in

Height: 5 ft 6 in

Weight: 267.2 lbs

Bodyfat: 53.2%

Water: 34.6%


I have tried to start blogging again like this in the hopes that if it’s out there and public I’ll be more accountable to myself but nooooo. I keep crashing and burning.

So I’m really hoping that this time I make it stick.


Weight: 140 lbs

Bodyfat: 15%

Water: Whatever won’t make me bloated and unable to fit into shoes, rings, etc.

This goal is TENTATIVE. I don’t know whether 15% bodyfat is actually possible. I’ve heard it may be a bit on the skinny side. The other thing is that if I get to 15% bodyfat I may not be able to stop at 140 pounds unless I put on quite a bit of muscle. Which I probably need to do, especially as I’m in middle age now and could use the protein reserves and the physical strength, but who knows what I’ll actually be capable of doing.

But I have to have something to aim for. I will change the target later if that seems warranted. Not as in “oh well, I’m at a plateau, so my new goal is 190 pounds.” Fuck that. Just, I might want to ratchet it up or down five pounds or five percentage points on the bodyfat.

We’ll see.

Okay, so what can you expect here? I have to say, after having this URL for a while I was recently thinking about going back to being the Low-Carb Curmudgeon again. I had mixed feelings about it, though. So I was kind of relieved to see that when I lost the domain name, some Korean outfit snapped it up. They can have it, and I’m sure they’ll find no use for it whatsoever. Meanwhile, I will be here writing. Expect weight updates about once a week. Expect musings about my own journey and about the weight-loss world in general. Expect occasional rantings about vegans and dietitians. (Mostly the latter.) Expect colorful language. In short, expect pretty much what you found at LCC, if you remember that at all. And probably a wider range of emotional responses because believe it or not, I am not a crab-ass all the time. Also possibly expect some other things that you didn’t see at LCC because I’ve gotten some ideas and I rather like them. Maybe you will too.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have BBQ chicken and bacon pizza to finish before I have to be “good” again. I MUST figure out how to low-carbify this. Sigh.

P.S. I’m not so much into the emotional/Adult Playtime entanglements anymore. I don’t know what it is about myself that I always have trouble with them, but it sidelines too much of my life to try to figure that stuff out, so if it’s obsess about my dude problems and remain a land whale the rest of my life OR kick the dudes to the curb (and the ladies–I don’t swing that way) and de-blubber myself, I might have been born in the morning but it wasn’t yesterday morning, and it’s pretty much a “duh” as to which path I’ll pick. I’m sure you dudes out there are ALL heartbroken, just like I am. You’re welcome.

*I don’t mean literally slap them. When I was a teenager some of my friends and I would smack at one another if one of us was a smartass or something–nothing serious, just sort of an “oh, YOU”–but I haven’t been like that in years and years and I don’t view it as a helpful friend behavior now. But you know how we usually don’t feel comfortable acting like douchebags in someone else’s physical presence because we fear consequences? Like that. Too many people act like fools on the internet because they know no one will punch them in the nose for it. And no, I don’t punch people in their noses either. OK? OK. Though I’ve had a few moments in life where I really wished I did. I’m sure we all have.