First post. For real this time.

So, a long, long time ago (it seems like), I kept a blog called The Low-Carb Curmudgeon. During the time in which I kept that blog, I lost something like fifty pounds. While I was losing those fifty pounds I gained more than a thousand “likers” on the affiliated Facebook Page and more than 300 followers on the affiliated Twitter account. Not huge numbers, but not exactly small potatoes for someone like me, either.

Then stuff went south in my personal life. At the same time stuff was going south in my personal life, I went off the rails with my weight-loss efforts. That was about 2012 or 2013. Once again I had got myself caught up in a guy who was emotionally unavailable but certainly had no problem initiating Adult Playtime with me. I don’t do emotionally-unavailable Adult Playtime very well. It took me several breakaway attempts before I finally decided I was done with him, and I wasn’t okay about it for at least several months afterward. All the while this was going on, I was steadily regaining.

Let’s see. At that point the heaviest I’d been that I knew of was around 250, at five feet six inches tall. I had then lost a little more than fifty pounds. I remember, because I got below 200 and made a big deal out of getting back to Onederland. I could actually feel my butt melting back into its proper shape–it was awesome. But as soon as I was miserable about some asshat again I stopped caring.

People noticed. I’d made some Facebook “friends” via my low-carb blogging efforts, and those who didn’t fall away because they hated my politics (left-ish) or my complaining about my life (frequent, even when I wasn’t strictly miserable) or my tendency to argue with a fencepost (oh my god) fell away because I wasn’t their big golden-girl success story anymore. They weren’t happy unless I was properly entertaining them. This despite at least a couple of them acting like I was the best thing since sliced… filet mignon… for other reasons besides the weight loss. And it just goes to show that 99 percent of human beings do not know how to be real friends on social media because you are not right there in their face-to-face life and able to slap them* if they go douchebaggy. Whatever. I hope they’re happy wherever they ended up. No, really. I’m good. (Now.) I totally cut ties with the fair-weather idiots. There are a couple of folks from my old blogging days who stuck with me and they’re pretty cool. It’s nice to not have drama.

So, I mentioned some numbers. Okay. From about… we’ll say 198 pounds… I ballooned back up PAST 250 alllll the way to… here. I weighed in this morning, and here’s where I am.

17 Mar 2017 weigh-in 267.2 lbs 53.2 percent fat

17 Mar 2017
weigh-in
267.2 lbs
53.2 percent fat

17 Mar 2017 weigh-in 34.6 percent water

17 Mar 2017
weigh-in
34.6 percent water

In case you can’t see those images, here are the numbers. I use a Tanita scale that measures my weight, my bodyfat percentage, and what percentage of my body is water. I’m sure it’s not tremendously accurate, but I understand the Tanitas will at least properly reflect downward trends if you’re losing weight. Anyway…

Today’s weigh-in

Height: 5 ft 6 in

Weight: 267.2 lbs

Bodyfat: 53.2%

Water: 34.6%

Yeeeeeesh.

I have tried to start blogging again like this in the hopes that if it’s out there and public I’ll be more accountable to myself but nooooo. I keep crashing and burning.

So I’m really hoping that this time I make it stick.

Goals

Weight: 140 lbs

Bodyfat: 15%

Water: Whatever won’t make me bloated and unable to fit into shoes, rings, etc.

This goal is TENTATIVE. I don’t know whether 15% bodyfat is actually possible. I’ve heard it may be a bit on the skinny side. The other thing is that if I get to 15% bodyfat I may not be able to stop at 140 pounds unless I put on quite a bit of muscle. Which I probably need to do, especially as I’m in middle age now and could use the protein reserves and the physical strength, but who knows what I’ll actually be capable of doing.

But I have to have something to aim for. I will change the target later if that seems warranted. Not as in “oh well, I’m at a plateau, so my new goal is 190 pounds.” Fuck that. Just, I might want to ratchet it up or down five pounds or five percentage points on the bodyfat.

We’ll see.

Okay, so what can you expect here? I have to say, after having this URL for a while I was recently thinking about going back to being the Low-Carb Curmudgeon again. I had mixed feelings about it, though. So I was kind of relieved to see that when I lost the domain name, some Korean outfit snapped it up. They can have it, and I’m sure they’ll find no use for it whatsoever. Meanwhile, I will be here writing. Expect weight updates about once a week. Expect musings about my own journey and about the weight-loss world in general. Expect occasional rantings about vegans and dietitians. (Mostly the latter.) Expect colorful language. In short, expect pretty much what you found at LCC, if you remember that at all. And probably a wider range of emotional responses because believe it or not, I am not a crab-ass all the time. Also possibly expect some other things that you didn’t see at LCC because I’ve gotten some ideas and I rather like them. Maybe you will too.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have BBQ chicken and bacon pizza to finish before I have to be “good” again. I MUST figure out how to low-carbify this. Sigh.

P.S. I’m not so much into the emotional/Adult Playtime entanglements anymore. I don’t know what it is about myself that I always have trouble with them, but it sidelines too much of my life to try to figure that stuff out, so if it’s obsess about my dude problems and remain a land whale the rest of my life OR kick the dudes to the curb (and the ladies–I don’t swing that way) and de-blubber myself, I might have been born in the morning but it wasn’t yesterday morning, and it’s pretty much a “duh” as to which path I’ll pick. I’m sure you dudes out there are ALL heartbroken, just like I am. You’re welcome.

—–
*I don’t mean literally slap them. When I was a teenager some of my friends and I would smack at one another if one of us was a smartass or something–nothing serious, just sort of an “oh, YOU”–but I haven’t been like that in years and years and I don’t view it as a helpful friend behavior now. But you know how we usually don’t feel comfortable acting like douchebags in someone else’s physical presence because we fear consequences? Like that. Too many people act like fools on the internet because they know no one will punch them in the nose for it. And no, I don’t punch people in their noses either. OK? OK. Though I’ve had a few moments in life where I really wished I did. I’m sure we all have.

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